Please Don’t Use the F word: Fixer-Upper

badapple:

Here’s the latest from my Bad Homeowner Blog.

Originally posted on Old Effing House:

Whatever you do, don’t use the F word around my house — as in “fixer-upper”.  This is NOT a fixer upper!  This is a move-in as-is-er and resolve a few problems.  Please, don’t say “fix.” At least, not around Hank.

Hank is so sure I have made the greatest mistake of our lives he called in Rex, G’s friend and contractor, to get his opinion of the house I’d just bought. In the garage, after Rex has seen everything, he looked Hank straight in the eye and said:

“I think this place is okay. It needs some work, but it’s nowhere near the worst place I’ve ever seen.”

“‘The worst place he had ever seen?”‘

Gee, Hank, just what have you been telling people about our “new” place?”

“I tell people we’re moving to the Twomps,” he snickered.

“You know, I don’t think a lot of people use that name for…

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